Monday, 22 March 2010


The emergency appointment at 4pm on Saturday read 'Anal glands driving dog berserk.'

'It's hardly going to die from having an itchy arse.' I told the receptionists.

When the appointment was complete and the glands evacuated, I did not charge an out of hours fee nor did I get cross with the owner for wasting my time.

I simply neglected to tell her that some of the contents of her dogs anal glands had accidentally squirted into the pocket of her sky blue anorak.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Insurance for all.

The government's latest plan to reduce dog related attacks is to make registration and insurance of all dogs compulsory.

But does this really tackle the issue?  

In other words car insurance isn't a guarantee against the risk of dangerous driving or accident so why would it work in the case of dogs?

I suspect that all well meaning owners will be the ones who toe the line and that those who have genuinely dangerous dogs will not take out the insurance.  Who is going to police the matter?

One good thing however will be the compulsory identi-chipping of all dogs. Hopefully this will reduce the number of stray dogs that cannot be returned to their owners.

As for the task of id-chipping so called 'dangerous' dogs....I'm certainly not volunteering to risk my arm putting a microchip in nor checking for one, but perhaps the insurance will cover against attacks against those vets who are brave enough to do so?

Friday, 5 March 2010

A blonde moment.

I can't get through to Mrs Simons by phone.

I need to speak to her about her guide dog.

I decide it might be easier to send her an email.

I am pleased with my good idea.

....what a fuckwit.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Monday, tuesday, wednesday..

Sometimes I wonder how people get by from day to day without their pets keeping an eye on them.

On Monday Mr Frisk brought Toby in to see me. He didn't make an appointment, he walked in off the street in his blue bobble hat, looking rather like a giant smurf. He was worried that Toby had been poked in the eye.

The receptionist sighed heavily. 'Will you see him, he hasn't got an appointment but it sounds urgent.'

'Yep, stick him on the list.' I said resigned.

'When did this happen?' I asked Mr Frisk as Toby entered my room, one eye tightly shut.

'Three weeks ago.' He replied.

Yep, a proper emergency.

'He'll have to come back again in a week.' I told him once I had finished the examination.

'What day is it now? Saturday?' He asked confused.

'No. It's monday.' I told him, rather worried but not altogether surprised that he was two days behind everyone else.

'Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, monday.' He mumbled. 'Yes I think I can come back then.' He finally tells me before he heads back off into the big wide world.

Thank God for dogs like Toby because without them people like Mr Frisk wouldn't leave the house at all or even get the chance to interact with other people. People like Mr Frisk would probably never know what day of the week it is, or even come close. Toby is their one link to the outside world, so it's important I keep both his eyes open....